The Obligatory Hall of Fame Outraged Response

Since starting this lightly-read blog, I've gone out of my way to avoid recycling material that I'd written for my previous internet employers. But, every year around this time, I reach back to 2005, when I cobbled together an exhaustive feature that examined the Hall of Fame prospects for 100 current and retired players.

Here's what I wrote about the newest Hall of Fame inductee, Andre Dawson:

So goes the story of Andre, whose most Gigantic* seasons materialized in Montreal and away from the big-market media. An eight-time All Star and Gold Glove winner, Dawson was very good for a very long time, but seldom great. He only reached the 30 HR plateau three times, his lifetime OBP of .323 is borderline awful and the fact that he collected nearly 1,000 useless and unproductive at-bats over his final four years make his case for Cooperstown all the less compelling.

* - And, no, I can't believe I went there in 2005.

M'man Smitty and I have had a few heated debates on Dawson's candidacy – he's pro, I'm con. In the end, I'm not going to get too worked up over it. I would only ask that his supporters in the media stop with the revisionist history. Dawson's absolute offensive peak was a four year stretch from 1980-83 (.302/.350/.518). He was solid for the rest of his 11-year run in Montreal, but there wasn't any HoF buzz until much later.

And, his 1980s peak took a back seat to Dale Murphy's (.293/.383/.533) from 1982-85; Darryl Strawberry's (.272/.378/.549) from 1985-88 and even Eric Davis' (.281/.377/.537) from 1986-89.

I will, however, get worked up about Roberto Alomar. Here are my thoughts from five years ago:

Despite the numerous changes of address (seven different teams in 17 years); Alomar was unquestionably the best second baseman of his era. 12 All Star appearances, 10 Gold Gloves and five top 10 finishes in the MVP race would be enough by themselves. Throw in a career .300 average and .371 OBP and you've got one of the finest top of the order hitters of this generation. 2700+ hits and 470+ stolen bases (and counting) are just icing on the cake.

Alomar is on the short list of my all-time favorite players who never wore the Oakland A's green and gold. You know those hackneyed platitudes that sportswriters have been belching out since the 19th century? Well, Alomar's play at second base was jaw-dropping, breathtaking and awe-inspiring.

With Alomar's crazy range at second base on the early 1990s juggernaut Toronto Blue Jays squad, they could've sat light-hitting shortstop Manny Lee – let Alomar cover SS, too – hit eight players and still won the AL East by eight games. I kid, but Alomar was that good.

Now, if he'd only gotten 50% of the HoF vote, I'd have been disappointed. Alomar was great for a long time, but after a terrific 2001 season – at the age of 33 – he was done. His final three seasons included a disastrous, high-profile flop with the Mets and MAYBE Alomar's HoF omission could be explained away with the "recency effect".

Instead, Alomar missed inclusion by eight votes. And, there's not a doubt in mind that he was targeted by just enough voters who felt obligated to deliver a post-dated punishment for a singular on-field sin in 1996. It's all detailed in this absolutely terrific story.

Alomar intentionally spat on umpire John Hirschbeck during a heated dispute. Afterwards, Alomar implied that the umpire's terminally ill child was the cause for Hirschbeck's short fuse. Alomar was subsequently crucified in the media. Alomar eventually apologized and the two became close friends, working together for Hirschbeck's charity.

Recapping: the ONLY two parties involved have moved on and turned a vile, repugnant moment into something positive, productive and – quite possibly – life-saving.

Meanwhile, too many Hall of Fame voters chose to make a statement on character instead of listening to the message unfolding right in front of them.


(If you haven't done so, make sure you read Joe Posnanski's phenomenal piece on his HoF ballot. You won't agree with every selection/omission – I didn't – but, he's the rare sportswriter with an open mind and a willingness to consider all arguments.)

TBG Eats: Taco Bell's NEW Beefy 5-Layer Burrito & NEW Crispy Potato Soft Taco

Current Weight: 166.8 lbs.

Last week – a few days after Christmas – Mrs. Bootleg and I decided to treat our household to a belated family gift. We settled on a high-definition television for the master bedroom. For Mrs. Bootleg, it'll provide a reasonable facsimile of warm human contact while I'm blogging well past 11:00 PM. As for me, I'll use it to get closer to my new son, "Playstation 3". He was born under the tree on Christmas Day.

Unfortunately, the karmic forces that followed me throughout 2009 made sure to finish with a flourish. Just before the New Year, our washer AND dryer died. Mrs. Bootleg insists the cause of death was "natural causes", but she's wanted new laundering appliances for years. Personally, I suspected foul play: intentionally heavy, uneven loads that bludgeoned the washing machine off-balance and a dryer asphyxiated with an overload of cheap towels that suffocated the lint trap.

In the span of 72 hours, we laid down dollars for three major purchases – only one of which we really needed.

Consequently, as we enter 2010, money is going to be tight for the first few months. And, I've yet to factor in Jalen's sixth birthday in early February or my family's long-in-the-works encore vacation to Arizona in March. Throw in an increasingly uncertain employment status for both me and Mrs. Bootleg and we'll be seeing a lot more nights like these: the wife didn't feel like cooking and since Taco Bell's been pushing a new 89-cent burrito…

I'm always excited to introduce my innards to TB's latest menu item. The feeling, however, is occasionally topped by the drive-thru discovery of new food that has yet to be widely advertised. And, TB's Crispy Potato Soft Taco damn sure qualifies.

Did you think I wouldn't find out, Taco Bell? What other menu secrets are you keeping to yourselves? Well, besides the ongoing availability of Volcano Tacos and Nachos, despite their absence from your menu boards. They're still selling them, people! Just ask!

Now, let's hit up Taco Bell's website for an introduction to the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito:

Layers of seasoned ground beef, beans, real cheddar cheese and cool reduced-fat sour cream all wrapped in a flour tortilla with a special layer of warm nacho cheese sauce.

If you'll allow me to beat my usual dead horse: the local Taco Bell almost always overdoes it with the sour cream. I'd had this burrito on two occasions and the first time was fine. Last night, the burrito's insides were white from beginning to end. Honestly, you could order it sans sour cream and not miss it.

When the 5-Layer is done right, it's a solid little cheap burrito. There's a good beef-to-beans balance while the amount of cheese isn't too much and isn't too little. No superfluous vegetables to be found here, either. Grab a couple of packets of TB's "fire" sauce and you've got some above (fast food) average eatin' here.

Back to TB's website for their description of the Crispy Potato Soft Taco:

A warm, soft flour tortilla filled with crispy potato bites, pepper jack sauce, crisp shredded lettuce and real cheddar cheese.





TB's Beef and Potato Burrito was a popular item on their "Why Pay More" Value Menu for years. Sadly, it appears to have been discontinued (replaced with the Cheesy Potato Burrito which isn't on the Value Menu). But, the Crispy Potato Soft Taco keeps the memory alive.

I wasn't a fan of TB's Black Jack Taco, but here, the pepper jack sauce inexplicably works better with the crisp chunks of fried potatoes. The lettuce and cheese balanced it all out as the flavor from each ingredient was never overwhelmed by the others. The addition of bacon could take this to the five-star level, Taco Bell. Hint! Hint!

Grade (Beefy 5-Layer Burrito): 3 (out of 5)
Calories: 550 Fat: 22g

Grade (Crispy Potato Soft Taco): 4
Calories: 260 Fat: 13g

AiAA: McDonald's – Dollar Van Demos

Despite the overwhelming acceptance and embrace of hip hop culture worldwide, the genre is still an awkward marketing conundrum for Madison Avenue. It's been a quarter-century since rap music really hit the mainstream and big business could be forgiven for their initial exploitative attempts to cash in on the "fad". I mean, really, who could stay mad at this:





Celebrity endorsements were inevitable and by the early 1990s, corporate America anointed MC Hammer as the next non-threatening Negro pitchman of the minute. Rap music, however, was still in its relative infancy as a hot commodity. Consequently, the inherent fluidity of the genre's popular themes and subject matter meant that the shelf life of yesterday's multi-platinum act lasted only as long as it took some other guy to rap about a "G Thang" or wear a shiny suit or afford an Auto-Tune.

In the case of Hammer, by the time his 30-second fast food spots were rolled out, the national Hammer backlash was in full swing. It's been nearly 20 years and I'm still mad at this:





And, so it goes.

McDonald's has been airing a new commercial during Sunday NFL games and popular primetime telecasts. Sadly, Mickey D's still doesn't get it. While I applaud the spirit behind the ad campaign, the execution is abysmal.





Who is McDonald's audience here? If it's African-Americans…trust me: most of us can appreciate pandering when we see it. If it's poor Black folk…I read, wrote about and discussed the alarming attraction of low-income minorities to the fast food industry in the mid-1990s while I was in college. I'm going to guess that a complete societal reversal has not yet occurred.

And, if the target audience is supposed to be fans of underground rap and the genre's roots, then Joya Bravo sold it all out for a dollar (menu). But, based on her look and flow, that might be enough to buy the rest of her J.J. Fad starter kit off lay-a-way.

TBG Eats and Drinks: Beachwood BBQ

Current Weight: 167.4 lbs.

Menu

Far and away, the most frequently asked blog-related question from my readers, friends and family is "How do you eat so much and stay so skinny?" If you were to click on that "Food n Drink" label to the right, you'd think that fast food and beer were a daily part of my diet.

Truth is I don't eat a lot. I'll have one substantial meal per day while lightly grazing throughout my remaining waking hours. During the work week, I get by on organic cereal bars, a ginormous bowl of fresh fruit and clandestine handfuls of salty snacks (pretzels, pita chips) from the upstairs executive secretary's stash. Consequently, I often attack my weekday dinner with a ferocity usually reserved for wild animals.

On weekends, if I happen to manhandle a Monster Breakfast Burrito for breakfast or a Sonic Dog combo meal for lunch, then that's my one real meal for the day.

I've lost about 20 lbs. from eating this way since the summer of 2008, but an unintended side effect is that my once bottomless, malleable belly has shrunk to the approximate size of a silver dollar.

When I was 10 years old, my customary McDonald's order was a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, large fries, a six-piece of the newly-introduced Chicken McNuggets and a vanilla shake. Looking back, I still don't know what's more mind-blowing: that my parents didn't see anything wrong with this or that I was eating at McDonald's.

I get that awful post-gorge bloat just reminiscing about that meal. And, that's why I take my food reviews so g*ddam seriously. That sandwich or burger or burrito might be the only edible item of significance to meet my mouth in a single day.

No pressure, though, Beachwood BBQ!

OK, so, one of my oldest friends just happens to be a functioning alcoholic. Great guy, though. Husband, father and Mrs. Bootleg absolutely adores him. He lives out of state, but whenever he comes back to California for a visit, he suggests a spot for our old high school crew to reunite for the afternoon or evening.

He proposes the location based on the breadth of the establishment's beer menu.

And, that's how 4/5 of our "since-the-late-'80s" clique ended up at Beachwood BBQ in Seal Beach on the day after Christmas.

Now, in defense of m'man JP – the alcoholic from a few paragraphs up – Beachwood's daily assortment of ever-changing pours is impressive. I arrived at the restaurant earlier than everyone else, but even with a 10-minute head start at the bar, I still couldn't figure out which beer to buy.

Eventually, I opted for the Empire Strikes Black imperial stout from Sierra Nevada. Our server – intentionally, I maintain – asked me to repeat my drink order for the ironic yuks and m'man Smitty immediately noted that he'd seen the movie of the same name in a hotel not long ago. I love these bums. It's good to be home.

Oh, God, the beer. Mild, roasted hops flavor in the background with chocolates, coffee and vanilla all up in my mouf [sic]. Had one with the appetizers and one with the meal.

Our table split a plate of Lena's Famous Fried Pickles and an order of Smoked Buffalo Wings. I'm not huge fan of pickles (sorry, New York City Delicatessen Union), but I'll try anything with the words "famous" and "fried" in front – whether it's Famous Amos' chocolate chip hardtack or the fried bologna my aunt took a tad too much pride in.

The pickles were sliced and batter-dipped. They were sizzlin' hot, yet not too firm and not too soft. Still somewhat sour, but not overwhelmingly so, the pickles were served with dipping staple, ranch dressing. Just a great flavor with the right amounts of snap and pucker.

The wings were equally awesome. I'm pretty sure the City of Buffalo would sue on the grounds of their tired finger-waggling towards any wings NOT birthed in the Anchor Bar, but these still kicked ass. They had no sauce to speak of, just deep smoky goodness from the skin to the bone.

For my entrée, I opted for the New Brunswick Stew – braised chicken and rabbit stewed with beer, celery, peppers, onions, corn, tomatoes and lima beans. Honestly, I can't remember a greater gap between the appetizing look and taste of a meal.






The meat had a noticeably subtle saltiness that played off the natural sweetness of the corn and tomatoes. The peppers and onions supplied a gentle kick to the tongue, while the buttery texture of the beans helped the whole bowl stick to every one of my ribs. The stew is served with two good-sized, seasoned drop biscuts. Crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, they were like wonderfully edible pillows.

Half-point deduction, though, for not nearly enough broth. After a few minutes, I could've eschewed the spoon for a knife and fork.

An enjoyable Saturday afternoon with the crew made all the better by the grub. Proof, once again, that all of life's important decisions can be based on the beer menu.

Grades: Empire Strikes Black imperial stout: 5 (out of 5); Lena's Famous Fried Pickles: 5; Smoked Buffalo Wings: 5; New Brunswick Stew: 4.5

2009 NFL Pickery - Week #17

Last Week:

Aaron: 11-5
Joe: 10-6
Tom: 8-8

Season to Date:
Joe: 158-82
Tom: 157-83
Aaron: 154-86


Chicago at Detroit

Joe: Chicago really put a happy face on a sad, sad season by knocking the Vikings off of their already teetering perch among the top NFC teams. Thanks for that, Bears, seriously. Don't expect a parade for beating the Lions, though. Pick: Chicago

Aaron: Bears' coach Lovie Smith may end up being the fall guy, but HE didn't (1) trade for Jay Cutler; (2) knock Brian Urlacher out for the season; (3) instill Matt Forte's irrational fear of the end zone; (4) Jay Cutler and (5) Jay Cutler. Pick: Chicago


New England at Houston

Joe: Oh, great. This is the week I have to look up which teams are sitting which players and blah blah blah. New England is a strong "maybe" for benchification, but when was the last time Houston actually made good on an opportunity. Pick: New England

Aaron: A win would give the Texans a season-ending four game winning streak, their first season above .500 and a preseason top three ranking in the "too-obvious 2010 sleeper" polls. Pick: Houston


Jacksonville at Cleveland

Joe: Oh, Jacksonville. Rot in an impossible-to-predict hell. Pick: Cleveland

Aaron: I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Mike Holmgren's $50 million deal to become Cleveland's team president includes a proviso that allows him to fire coach Eric Mangini - Vince McMahon style - right at midfield, immediately after the game ends. Pick: Jacksonville


Atlanta at Tampa Bay

Joe: Tampa got their big win last week. Now it's time to tank for position in this incredibly weak draft! Pick: Atlanta

Aaron: Shhh...they say Tim Tebow is omnipotent. Pick: Atlanta


Pittsburgh at Miami

Joe: Pittsburgh's late-season effort is probably going to be too late. Guess a third Super Bowl title off a nondescript regular season ain't happening. Pick: Pittsburgh

Aaron: This is classic two-part karma, Steelers fans. First for those cree-e-e-py Troy Polamalu shampoo commercials, then for the FOX drama "House" using the Mike Tomlin/Omar Epps thing as a punchline (and being praised for it) despite the fact that the comparison was done to death two years ago. Pick: Miami


San Francisco at St. Louis

Joe: You think if we combined these two teams they'd do better than 6-10? Because I don't. Pick: San Francisco

Aaron: Pretty sure that depends on how many games your "San Louis RamaNiners" play within the NFC West. Pick: San Francisco


Indianapolis at Buffalo

Joe: Okay, the hysteria over the Colts putting in their scrubs and losing the undefeated season is more than a little insane. It is a meaningless distinction! Let Mercury Morris have his fun. Pick: Indianapolis

Aaron: Damn it, Joe, the taxpayers in Indiana PAID for that stadium! The Colts OWE them! It's not like this team hasn't done the exact same thing just before the playoffs EVERY year! (Wait, one more.) They should've gone all out like the Pats, since 16-0 GUARANTEES a Super Bowl win! Pick: Buffalo


New Orleans at Carolina

Joe: The Saints have struggled to take it out of cruise control, and they're rapidly running out of road. Pick: Carolina

Aaron: Joe lives in New York City - the borough of Brooklyn, I believe. As such, I doubt he knows what any of the words in his own analogy means. Pick: Carolina


N.Y. Giants at Minnesota

Joe: The Giants sure are in a pickle. You want to send your season out on a high note, and pounding on St. Brett and company would sure do that. But a win means giving hated rivals the Eagles or the Cowboys a first-round bye. Oh, decisions. Pick: NY Giants

Aaron: Is it possible for an exciting, back and forth overtime game like last week's Vikings/Bears tilt to be nearly ruined by the broadcasters and their overt worship of Brett Favre? They had me rooting for Jay F****g Cutler! Pick: Minnesota


Philadelphia at Dallas

Joe: Didn't these two teams have one of these winner-take-all games last year? This time, the loser still makes the playoffs. But with a potential first-round bye on the line, I'm picking this to go how it usually does. Pick: Philadelphia

Aaron: A quick look at their schedule shows that the Eagles are woefully deficient on "inexplicable bed wettings against obviously inferior opponents" this season. It's not too late, Andy & Donovan. Pick: Dallas


Green Bay at Arizona

Joe: Lots of strategy to consider here. By the time they kick off (or shortly thereafter), both teams' could already be locked into a Wild Card rematch next week. So who's gonna be the first to open up the playbook in a largely meaningless game? Pick: Arizona

Aaron: Good point. And, when both teams' best players are pulled prior to halftime, which one has the farther talent gap between starters and back-ups? That's right, Cardinals, it's you. Pick: Green Bay


Kansas City at Denver

Joe: Despite the fact that I picked Denver last week, I was still semi-rooting for them to lose just so Bill Simmons's prediction of a 10-6 Broncos' season wouldn't come true. What happened to all that gloating?? P.S. While we're discussing him, Bill has twice now made the assertion that his beleaguered producer, Joe Mead, is "the world's only die-hard Bills and Notre Dame fan" (en route to chortling over the Bills possibly hiring Charlie Weis). It's almost hilarious how ignorant and wrong that statement is. Does he KNOW how many Catholics are in Buffalo? How many IRISH Catholics? I didn't know anybody else who DIDN'T love Notre Dame growing up. It was hard being a Florida St. reactionary. Pick: Denver

Aaron: "It's in Revelations, people!" Pick: Denver


Tennessee at Seattle

Joe: One of the most underreported stories of the second half of the season was Seattle's transformation into the worst team in the league. The last time things got this bad, they drafted Rick Mirer. Pick: Tennessee

Aaron: Mirer was drafted by Seattle in 1993. He was universally deemed a bust in 1996, released in 1997, didn't play a single down in a regular season game from 2000-2002...and, then he started eight games for my Raiders in 2003. Things could be worse in Seattle, Joe. Pick: Tennessee


Washington at San Diego

Joe: The Chargers have nothing to play for, but the Redskins may not even take the field in the second half. Pick: San Diego

Aaron: This Chargers team has me worried. Very, very worried. Pick: San Diego


Baltimore at Oakland

Joe: It's almost more fun to watch the Raiders win games, look awful, and ruin their draft position. Pick: Baltimore

Aaron: As you can see, I'm going opposite of Joe on a lot of games this week in hopes of catching him in the overall picks standings. I gave serious thought to picking Oakland here. They've had moments against good teams this year...hell, even beaten a few. But, if it came down to ONE game and I had to essentially bet the season on the first pro team I ever loved, I'd pull back my chips and walk away from the table. Hmmm...that sounded a LOT more poignant in my head. Pick: Baltimore


Cincinnati at N.Y. Jets

Joe: Wait, wait, wait. The Jets control their own destiny for a playoff spot? That is HILARIOUS. I think this is another game that could get replayed next week, so don't expect the Bengals to tip their hand. Pick: NY Jets

Aaron: I think Mark Sanchez needs to win a must-win game, before I'm picking him in a must-win game. Pick: Cincinnati



Confidence Pickin' (with current scores)

Aaron (40): Bears (-3) over LIONS; CHARGERS (-4) over Redskins; Titans (-4.5) over SEAHAWKS

Joe (39): 49ers (-7) over RAMS; Titans (-4.5) over SEAHAWKS; CARDINALS (-3.5) over Packers

Tom (35): Giants (+9) over Vikings; Bengals (+10) over Jets; Patriots (+8) over Texans

A's of the Decade: First Base – Jason Giambi

890 wins, 728 losses. Five playoff appearances. Three Rookies of the Year, two Most Valuable Player awards and one Cy Young winner. All in all, I can't complain about the last ten years of Oakland A's baseball.

It's easy to get hung up on the disappointments (four straight ALDS failures, free agent turnstiles out of town, Bobby Crosby) but, those slovenly squads from the early '00s are what brought me back to baseball after the A's spent most of the 1990s drafting Ariel Prieto and trading away/for Jose Canseco.

Yup…it's the obligatory "All-Decade" feature, y'all. But, with a twist. I went back and identified the primary starter at each position – including DH – for the past ten years. For pitchers, I took the top four in games started for each season and the respective leaders in saves. These are the guys who qualify.

My approach penalizes players who might've played a lot, but moved around the diamond without a defined position. Since Eric Byrnes – the pharaoh of false hustle – is probably the Oakland Athletic most affected by this rule, I think we can all agree that it's a good rule.

First up…

First Base – Jason Giambi

Years: 1995-2001, 2009

Summary: Unless I'm forgetting someone obvious, I can't remember any baseball team – top to bottom, all 25 guys – who so embodied the spirit of one of their players like those early 2000s Oakland A's. Giambi brought the A's back to relevance (and the playoffs) with an MVP season in 2000 (1.123 OPSteroids) and he should've won it again in 2001 (1.137 OPS).

Favorite A's Moment: On August 12, 2001, Giambi's two-out, two-run walk-off home run beat the New York Yankees 4-2. It was the A's 11th consecutive victory and the game was played in front of more than 47,000 fans in Oakland. As Giambi was mobbed by his delirious teammates, a television camera focused on a fan's sign in the stands: "Sorry, George [Steinbrenner]: Giambi CAN'T be bought!" HA!

Runner-Up: Scott Hatteberg (2002 – 2005)

Worst of the Decade: Jason Giambi ('09 version)

TBG Drinks: Lagunitas Brown Shugga Ale

Brewed By: Lagunitas Brewing Company
Brewed In: Petaluma, California
Type: American Strong Ale
ABV: 9.84%

What They Say: "How come you taste so good?? Boatloads of pure brown sugar in each batch, that’s how! The rich, roasty and mysteriously drinkable ale might best be described as... irresponsible. It leaves a lot of stories in it's [sic] wake."

Website: Sweet merciful Geocities! There exists a website that makes MY tired 1997 black and white format look progressive by comparison. Let's see...it's been awhile since I've done one of these, but every beer site needs the obligatory list of beers (check), an events schedule that's six weeks out of date (check), poorly made merchandise (check) and a brewery menu ($4.50 for chips and salsa? Panini sandwiches?! This is why America hates California.)

Why I Picked It: Last weekend, I drove up to my old hometown of Long Beach for a reunion of sorts with my high school crew. After lunch, we caravanned over to the closest BevMo. I was actually in search of a bourbon-based brew that I'd previously reviewed, but I got sucked in by the concept of "boatloads of pure brown sugar". In my morbidly obese pre-adolescence, I'd steal spoonfuls of brown sugar behind my mother's back whenever she was baking. And, now it's mixed with beer? Sounds dee-LISH!

---

Presentation (5): I like it. The simple, uncluttered label deflects the focus from "sugar" by using a significantly bigger font for the word "brown" and employing the phonetic "Shugga". The squat 12 ounce bottles peppered with quasi-inspirational clichés ("Life is Uncertain. Don't sip.") positively scream "indie beer". 4

Originality (5): I'm two bottles in and I still can't quite conceive the concept of a brown sugar ale. Yet...it appears to be real. My half-assed attempts at research pulled up several hits involving the use of ale and brown sugar as separate barbecue ingredients in the same recipe, but nothing as it relates to their union served up in a six-pack. 5

Body (10): Pours dark with decent lacing and a minimalist head. It looks spectacular in a pint glass, but upon closer inspection it's a thin brew that overcompensates with the carbonation. Hey, it's an ale. Grading on that curve, this is a solid little effort even if -- at first glance -- it appears to be a sheep in stout's clothing. 7

Taste (10): Let's address the elephant in the room upfront: if there's a "boatload" of brown sugar in each batch, it must be the size of those driftwood rafts that bring Cuban refugees to Miami. There are sporadic hints of brown sugar here, but -- thankfully -- it's not overwhelming. This is a strong ale that's aggressive on the palette with a bit of an abrasive, yet occasionally sweet finish. A little more hoppy than you might think. 7

Efficiency (10) This one won't sneak up on you. It goes down the gullet quite easily, but every sip comes with an overt kick of its ABV. I've only had one bottle in two separate sittings. There might be room on the bar stool for a couple of these, but beyond that it's the definition of diminishing returns. 5

Versatility (10) There might be some possibilities in the kitchen with this beer. Cooked down, I'm certain Brown Shugga's trace sweetness would flourish. Beyond that, my guess is the casual drinker will be turned off by the name on the label, while even the most eclectic tongue might need a few bottles to warm up to the taste. The concept's inherent curiosity factor is worth a few extra points here. 5

Grade: 33 (out of 50) -- Good Beer

The above format has been lifted with permission from That Beer Snob Guy.